Now that I am in GA, there are things I simply cannot do. One of those things is putting flowers on the grave of my son Alex. My friend Stacy was nice enough to do this for me. I just want to say that if you have any friends that have lost a child & you don't know what to say or what to do, this is something you could do. It was something I would have never asked someone to do, but it means the world to me. My friend has a daughter the same age Alex would be. She even took pics so even though I couldn't be there to see in person, I could see and I would know it was taken care of. One of my biggest fears with Alex is that since he only lived to be 2, that he will be forgotten. This helped a lot. Although, I am a Christian, and I do not beleive my son is there, it is my memorial. It is my place to go. And when I go, I like to go alone. I don't feel that anyone except his Father can possibly feel the way I feel because only the two of us lost Alex. Only we were his parents.
So when you think I am cutting up all the time, making funnies, know that my life isn't all giggles. Sometimes I laugh to keep from crying.